Vulnerability

Vulnerability is often blocked by our sense of shame, in this instance, shame about the way we may be feeling, preventing us from opening up and talking to those we objectively trust. This fear tells us that being vulnerable is too painful, and scares us into further believing the lies we've created; that we cannot let go of the secrets we hold. It's at this point the distinction between the world we live in and the world others believe we live in becomes defined, and we begin to live two separate realities. The lack of need to be vulnerable enables us to erase what we wish to hide, and disguise the life we wouldn't want others to see. Learning to open up about our feelings, and let go of things we should have never learned to hold onto can be a vulnerable experience, that we outwardly avoid because of the shame attached to the stigma of opening up. However, this shouldn't be how we view the intimacy of talking about our pain. Vulnerability shouldn't be something we strive to avoid or see as courage, yet something we outwardly crave in our sustainable relationships as the norm.

The problem with exposing ourselves to vulnerability is the possibility that it might fire back, and lead us to more pain, but vulnerability is the birthplace for change. Without it we stay stagnant in our current reality, only imagining how we would feel if we'd only asked for help. Such actions are often avoided as we feel we aren't worthy of the love of those we wish to open up to, and that realistically they wouldn't care, but this is far from the truth. Often the feelings we wish to open up about convince us that those around us don't care, or they would feel burdened if we'd pour out our thoughts, but more often than not, this isn't the case. We shouldn't let the idea of vulnerability force us into feeling like we have to cope on our own.

Vulnerability can clearly have its upsides. As an exchange of sympathy, it doesn't expect others to solve our difficulties, yet emboldened to show their more vulnerable side. Vulnerability should be seen as a mutual act amongst friends. Momentarily putting yourself on show renders it safe for others to unburden themselves, and disclose their hidden selves back to you. After all, were all as damaged as each other, so vulnerability simply confirms our membership into the human race. Weakness can often be the only route to respect, and vulnerability humanizes us to those who our stories echo with. Vulnerability should be the bedrock of friendship,  and dignifies the friendships we already hold.

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